Braving Midlife

Let’s face it: Having Adult ADHD is a comedy and a tragedy, often within the same five minutes. One moment you’re a genius, the next you’re hunting for the keys you put in the refrigerator. And then that inner critic—the one who sounds suspiciously like a disappointed professor—starts shouting.

We need to fire that professor.

The secret to better ADHD management isn’t complicated; it’s being kind to the brain you have, not the one you “should” have.

Here are six simple, clever slogans to help you quiet the self-doubt, simplify your life, and treat your brilliant, chaotic brain with the respect it deserves.

1. Treat Yourself Like a Good Friend.

The Simple Rule: If your friend forgot to mail a package, you’d say, “It happens! Let’s go do it now.” If you forget, your inner critic sighs deeply, adjusts their glasses, and mutters, “Well, that was certainly a suboptimal use of your time, wasn’t it?” Stop it.

Slight Shift: Extend the “Good Friend Rule” to yourself. A mistake is just a logistical problem, not a character flaw.

2. Assume It’s Executive Functioning First.

The Simple Rule: When you can’t start a task or lose track of time, it’s not laziness. It’s your executive function skills currently on a smoke break.

Slight Shift: Don’t waste time on guilt. Your brain is wired differently, not poorly. Frame the struggle as: “Which system do I need for this challenge?” (Not: “Why am I so bad at life?”)

3. There is No “Should-ing” in ADHD.

The Simple Rule: Comparing your organizational skills to neurotypical people is like comparing your pet fish to a mountain goat. It’s pointless, and it only makes you feel bad.

Slight Shift: Ditch “I should be better at…” Replace it with: “What would actually help me get this done?” Your unique needs are valid, not shameful.

4. Your Head is for Ideas, Not Storage.

The Simple Rule: Stop trying to remember everything. Your brain is an amazing factory for brilliant thoughts; it’s a terrible filing cabinet.

Slight Shift: Offload all details immediately. Use sticky notes, alarms, lists—whatever works. Treat your external tools with the seriousness of a pilot’s pre-flight checklist. Trust the system, not your memory.

5. Do It Now or Write it Down.

The Simple Rule: For the ADHD brain, there are only two times: Now and Never. If a task takes under two minutes, just do it.

Slight Shift: If it can’t be done Now, you must immediately schedule it in your calendar. If you just think, “I’ll do that later,” it’s already lost to the void.

6. If It’s Not Scheduled, It’s Not Happening.

The Simple Rule: If you want to exercise, relax, or pay a bill, it has to have a fixed block of time on your calendar. Otherwise, your day will get eaten by doom-scrolling and staring at walls.

Slight Shift: Treat all scheduled time—from work to fun—like a doctor’s appointment. Your time is valuable, even your chill time. Block it out, and protect it fiercely.