Braving Midlife

Welcome, fellow kitchen enthusiasts! Today, we’re diving into the whimsical world of Egg Roll in a Bowl—a dish that combines all the deliciousness of an egg roll without any of that pesky rolling. That’s right; we’re taking the egg roll out of the egg roll, and trust me, your taste buds and sanity will thank you.

Why Egg Roll in a Bowl?

First off, let’s address the elephant in the room. Rolling egg rolls is a task best left to the nimble fingers of culinary wizards, not us mere mortals.

Who has time to meticulously fold and fry when there’s a perfectly good Netflix series begging for attention?

Enter Egg Roll in a Bowl:

all the flavors, none of the fuss.

Ingredients:

• 1 pound ground pork or beef (or chicken, or tofu for the plant-based peeps)
• 1 bag coleslaw mix (because chopping cabbage is so 2019)
• 1 tablespoon sesame oil
• 3 cloves garlic, minced (or from a jar, we won’t judge)
• 1 teaspoon fresh ginger, grated (or again, jarred—no shame)
• 1/4 cup soy sauce
• 2 tablespoons sriracha (adjust to your spice tolerance or bravery level)
• 1 bunch green onions, chopped
• Sesame seeds for garnish (because we’re fancy like that)

Directions:

1. Simple Start: Before you begin, take a moment to appreciate the brilliance of what’s about to happen. This dish is like the sweatpants of dinners—comfortable, easy, and surprisingly stylish in a foodie sort of way.
2. Meat the Heat: In a large skillet, heat your sesame oil over medium heat. Add the ground pork and cook until it’s browned and crumbled. This is where you start feeling like a cooking show host, minus the camera crew and the pressure.
3. Garlic & Ginger Duo: Toss in the minced garlic and grated ginger. Sauté until your kitchen smells like an exotic market, or at least until your roommate wanders in to see what’s cooking.
4. Cabbage Patch Bash: Add the coleslaw mix to the skillet. Watch it wilt down like your motivation to go to the gym. Stir it around, letting the flavors mingle and marry—basically, we’re encouraging a veggie meet-cute here.
5. Sauce Boss: Pour in the soy sauce and sriracha. Mix well. Taste. Adjust. Taste again. Repeat until you achieve that sweet (and spicy) spot.
6. Green Scene: Sprinkle in the chopped green onions. Not only do they add a nice crunch, but they also give you an excuse to call this dish a “balanced meal.”
7. Fancy Finish: Serve your Egg Roll in a Bowl hot, garnished with sesame seeds. Feel free to Instagram this moment—your friends don’t need to know how easy it was.

Why You’ll Love It:

This dish is the culinary equivalent of a one-night stand: quick, satisfying, and no strings attached. Plus, it’s versatile enough to cater to various dietary preferences and levels of laziness. Paleo? Keto? Vegan? Egg Roll in a Bowl is here to make your life easier, one bite at a time.

So, there you have it—a dish that’s as witty and charming as you are. Now go forth and conquer your kitchen with the effortless grace of a true lazy gourmet. Bon appétit!

Ready to make your Egg Roll in a Bowl? Get all your ingredients delivered to your door with Instacart and $10 off!

Happy cooking!